As much as it hurts, I'm going to be rooting for a Philly sports team coming up. I love Pedro, so that start will be easy whenever it is (hopefully game two), the rest.... well, they're playing the Yankees. Let me break down my feelings for the Yankees.

I hate the Yankees. I fucking hate the Yankees. Not even half as much as I hate their fake gold chain with a cross on the end, Joba Rules t-shirt wearing, loud, frontrunning, obnoxious, borderline mentally retarded fans. You know the ones. The ones that will face any valid argument by either going "YOU'S IS JUST A HATER HATERS GO DRINK YOUR HATEORADE" or "TWENTY SIX WOILD CHAMPEENSHIPS" amongst a shower of saliva. The idiots that frankly don't know jack shit about baseball.

They can all suck my mother fucking dick. Listening to them makes me want to puke. Reading what they write makes me want to shit Tabasco and broken glass. I personally know exactly ONE Yankee fan in my life that I actually like. ONE. He can actually hold a baseball conversation, properly break down strategy, rosters, and so on.

These other greaseballs drive me absolutely nuts, again, to the point that I hate them more than the actual Yankees. As pissed off as I'd be seeing Joba and GayRod celebrating on a field with a World Series victory, it doesn't compare to how fucking annoying all these drooling, irritating morons are going to be if they win. WE DEED IT TWEENTY SEVEN WOILD CHAMPEENSHIPS... oh my God. Please no. 

GO PHILLIES. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, YOU MUST WIN THIS SERIES. 

Been a while. So, enjoy this half assed post that is little more than one observation, complete with image that saved like shit and has a barely readable caption. Love you guys.

That new movie about the end of the world date according to the Mayan calendar looks pretty cool.

BUT.

Anyone buying into that shit is fucking retarded, and yes, a lot of people do. A lot. Look.

Maybe they weren't predicting the end of the world. Maybe they just felt, I dunno, after they got like 1400 years into the fucking future that their calendar was thorough enough for the time being.

Just sayin.

Pic taken from some blog. I dunno. Right click it and check out the properties tab if you care. Anyway.

My Patriots won today, but I know none of you care, and that isn't what I want to talk about anyway. I want to talk about Black Family Guy.

Simply put, even for 2009 Seth Macfarlane, this isn't funny. Honestly. I watched the premiere because I wanted to see just how bad it was, and it far exceeded my expectations. My expectations on how much of a piece of shit it would be. The Cleveland Show isn't shit, The Cleveland Show is what SHIT EATS.

I put it on again tonight for all of about 20 seconds during a football timeout, I was treated to fat kid saying "I'm not as afraid of school anymore, but I'm still afraid of toasters". Cutaway to fat kid with toaster, toaster yells at him.

.....

Really, Seth?

Let me flip it back over to catch the final couple of minutes, thankfully there is only a maximum of five left. I doubt I'll make it that far.

For fucks sake. The humor in this show is so nonexistant that I honestly don't even kno-...... A SECOND YELLING TOASTER JOKE, SETH? I'VE HAD THIS SHOW ON FOR TWO MINUTES TONIGHT, MAYBE THREE, AND I'VE BEEN TREATED TO TWO YELLING TOASTER JOKES?

I..... I quit. This is so bad I can't even make fun of it. You can't make this up. Two very brief, very spaced out views, and I get the same thing thrown in my face. It's not even a joke, it's "haha I couldn't think of a joke so here's something random isn't that hilarious"..... no, Seth. No it is not.

So, lets get right into it today. This story involves an all-time great in the world of baseball, but has nothing to do about sports. This is straight up fucked. The short version is the world of cryogenics ain't what you hoped it'd be. Again, this is fucked.

The last .400 hitter in baseball, Ted Williams, died in 2002. Family and interest groups quarreled over what to do with the poor guys body, and after what I believe was about a month of him corpsing it up, it was agreed, freeze the head in cyrogenics in hopes future scientific generations can do.... uh, something. And I thought people fighting over a dead guys head was bad....

"[Larry Johnson, former Alcor Life Extension Foundation executive] writes that in July 2002, shortly after the Red Sox slugger died at age 83, technicians with no medical certification gleefully photographed and used crude equipment to decapitate the majors' last .400 hitter" - WithLeather.Uproxx.Com

So, essentially, people with about as much medical training as me took like, regular saws and sawed his fuckin head off. DUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...... WHAT? We're just getting started. As the Patron Saint of Infomercials Billy Mays would say, BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE! You know what, I'm just going to copypasta this whole section of the story before I interject more.

"Johnson writes that holes were drilled in Williams’ severed head for the insertion of microphones, then frozen in liquid nitrogen while Alcor employees recorded the sounds of Williams’ brain cracking 16 times as temperatures dropped to -321 degrees Fahrenheit.

Johnson writes that the head was balanced on an empty can of Bumble Bee tuna to keep it from sticking to the bottom of its case.

Johnson describes watching as another Alcor employee removed Williams’ head from the freezer with a stick, and tried to dislodge the tuna can by swinging at it with a monkey wrench.

The technician, no .406 hitter like the baseball legend, missed the can with several swings of the wrench and smacked Williams’ head directly, spraying “tiny pieces of frozen head” around the room" - WithLeather.Uproxx.com

I think solid white albacore is about to take a pretty big sales hit. Jesus Christ, dude. I mean, its bad enough to be an asshole that doesn't care so you're prying shit with wrenches and not caring about what you're doing, but..... that's just being lazy, careless and stupid. Putting microphones in hi head to hear the brain crack? Erhm..... EXCUSE ME WTF U DOIN

So, that's what 120 grand gets you nowadays. Yep, that's what was paid for this treatment. I don't really got a lot to add to this that anyone reading the story isn't already thinking. The book is in the image above, it's going to sell well, and a lot of people are going to be in deep shit. Including the author, I speculate. He might want to think about grabbing a bodyguard or four.