Look, Ben. I don't know if you did this or not. I do know you crashed a motorcycle a couple years ago because you didn't know how to drive it. I know last year some broad said you assaulted her and nothing came of it. Possibly because it's bullshit. But.... another offseason, and here we are again.

The Pittsburgh Steelers’ miserable off-season will gain a little clarity Monday afternoon, when a Georgia district attorney announces whether he will pursue an indictment against quarterback Ben Roethlisberger in a case in which he has been accused of sexual assault. -NYTimes.com

Now, if you know anything about pro athletes and crime, you know that the odds of Ben getting any jail time, even if this is pursued, are pretty small. Leonard Little killed a woman drunk driving, openly admits he doesn't even remember doing it, and he's still playing football. Dante Stallworth mowed some guy down with his car, also drunk last year, and I forget how long he spent in jail but I believe it was less than a month. So, all you faggot Steeler fans out there, I'd envision Ben will be behind center for you starting next year.

That being said, the way your team is acting this offseason, you might as well change from the Pittsburgh Steelers to the Pittsburgh Steel Bars, because you guys seem like somebody put the idea in your head being an idiot and getting arrested is some right of passage. You're like the new Bengals.

Ben...... didn't you learn anything from Tiger Woods? You're a professional athlete, you don't need to maul college chicks to get one in bed. Just go on to the next one, within 20 minutes or so I guarantee you'll find one thats willing to go home with you and let you destroy her. Honestly. Tell her who you are, imply you have more money than you know what to do with, buy her absurdly overpriced drinks. Your night will end with sex that doesn't result in hand shaped bruises on said theoretical girls neck. Y'know, if you did it which has yet to be determined. Please don't sue me.

So, what hasn't been determined yet is the fate of Ben, but what has been determined is he's a retard. Whether he did it or not, he put himself in a situation that was disruptive enough that this is an issue. Who knows what next offseason brings?

Labels: 2010, ben roethlisberger, charges, sexual assault

O hai gaiz. What'd I miss?

Well, whatever it was, it certainly wasn't Major League Baseball fucking up the season before it even started. I've been around for that.

The RedSox open the 162 game grind tonight...... against the Yankees. Absolutely fucking asinine.

Here's the deal. MLB teams like the Kansas City Royals sell out their games opening the season. A month into it, their home games will have maybe a third of the seats filled. The Royals suck and nobody cares about them during the season. 

BUT THEY DO ON OPENING DAY BECAUSE FUCKING BASEBALL IS BACK. WHY ARE THE REDSOX PLAYING THE YANKEES?

If the RedSox were playing the South Dakota School Of The Blind tonight, I and millions of others would be watching on the edge of our seats. Partially because it'd be funny watching blind kids try to get hits off a major league pitcher, but primarily because it doesn't matter who they play tonight. Baseball is back and everybody is like BASEBALL HOORAY DURR HURR GORILLAPENIS.

The RedSox should be playing a shitty team on their schedule tonight, and they should be playing in said shitty teams stadium, not Fenway park. When the RedSox travel to Kansas City somepoint during the season, nobody is going to give a damn.

That's why you're supposed to hold on to these RedSox Yankees matchups, for those down points in the season. A burned out baseball fan around game 90 is going to look at RedSox/Royals and say "I think I'll take a night off", but if it was RedSox/Yankees the response is HOLY FUCK I HAVE TO WATCH TONIGHT RAAAAAAR LOLOLOL.

So, yay baseball is back, boo fucking retarded scheduling. MLB screwed up yet another one here, and they're going to wish they had these three games later on.