Okay. If you've ever advertised on CraigsList, you know it's so full of spammers that the website is about to sneeze and send them flying by the dozen out of every orifice of its body. That's why I use sockpuppet email accounts to advertise on it, yet I still decided to erase them from the picture. Fuck you, you can't have the email address I use exclusively for CraigsList, that's important to me.

Seriously though, ignore "mane" in that picture, notice anything else? Spammers aren't even trying anymore. They think you're a fucking idiot. Which, if you fall for them, you are, but that's another story.

Look, spammers. If you can create an automated system that picks off the list on, uh, Craigs.... List.... and bulk mails it, you can probably create one that doesn't list its name as Hilary and start the email by calling itself Patricia.

I mean, I appreciate you're trying to steal my money, identity, and everything about me you can use for personal gain that completely ruins my life, I'm okay with that. That's your thing. But if you're going to try and bait me, you should at least let me get TWO SENTENCES into the email before I realize you're an automated faggot and not a real person. When I can see "Hilary" as the registered email name, and "Hilary" in the email, and "Hey, my mane(sic) is Patricia" without even moving my eyes, you're doing it wrong.

I'm not asking you to go away, spammers. I know you won't. You are the official cancerous tumor of the internet, if there is a Hell, you won't be fueling the fire, you'll be the shit in the middle of the furnace that is lit to START the fire. I get that. But fuck man, stop acting like I'm retarded. If you're going to try to ruin my life, you could at least put a little effort into it.

Y'know, like the people on the internet who AREN'T spammers that are trying to ruin my life (I hate my enemies, those guys suck). They're assholes too, but at least they respect me enough to know they're going to have to be a little more tactful.