I'm going to try to do previews and possibly recaps to games like I did elsewhere a few years back. So, that'll be our mostly lulzless, sports oriented segment of this blog from now on. Understood? Kay.

Before we get started, I'd like to offer my condolences for the death of Jake DelHomme's career. Pretty likable guy, very good quarterback for a couple years. He was the leader of a Panthers team that had the game gone into overtime and they got the ball first would have beaten my Patriots in the Super Bowl. Nobody could stop anyone the second half of that game. Jake used to be pretty good.

His last two games he has thrown for a total of less than 300 yards, with one touchdown and nine interceptions on 51 attempts. Two fumbles too, as well as a few sacks that were completely due to him no longer having a shred of pocket presence. As I said, I like Jake, but if you're Carolina, despite being stupid enough to give him a four year extension this offseason, you can't put him back out there. You just can't. He's done.

On to the Patriots Bills matchup tonight at 7. In short, I think the Jets next week will lose badly, but they have a chance of making it a competitive game, that one isn't a lock. This one is. Buffalo is going to get absolutely fucking killed tonight. I'm talking 41-7, 48-10, somewhere in that range. As long as #12 finishes the game, the Bills have absolutely, positively no chance whatsoever. Here's why.

1. Tom Brady has been sitting out essentially an entire year, he didn't even play a half last season. Tom doesn't like not playing football, and he's the best quarterback in the league, probably the best quarterback ever. Even if tonights opponent was good (Buffalo sucks), Brady would destroy them. If he throws less than four touchdowns, I'll be surprised. Brady to Moss Brady to Moss Brady to Moss all night, Welker too if he plays, which is uncertain at the moment.

2. Buffalo has a completely new offensive line. Every starter. Not one returning. They aren't all rookies, in fact I don't think any of them are, but they're all new starters, which means regardless of their individual levels of talent, they're going to be an absolute clusterfuck for about four weeks trying to figure out how to best work as a unit. Having Seymour still on the Patriots would be nice for this game, but in any case, look for a minimum of two sacks, probably more like four. Wouldn't expect the running game to work out too well for Buffalo either.

3. Buffalo has lost to New England 11 straight times. They're not coming in to New England on Monday night to open the season and changing that. It simply isn't happening.

Factor those things in to the fact the Patriots are simply a more talented team, and that's pretty much it. We're under six hours away from this massacre, and my penis is trembling with excitement. Enjoy!

Post Game Recap: That's why they play the games, huh? This is also why I don't gamble on sports.... I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. So, COME BACK NEXT WEEK SO I CAN TELL YOU THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF WHATS GONNA HAPPEN