So, yeah, I think that story below is bullshit. A good campaign by a dedicated group of bored internet basement dwellers that got semi-reputable news sources to pick up the story and run with it. Pretty funny, I'm going to leave it up for exactly that reason.

So, I don't really feel like writing a post today. Instead I'm going to rewrite an "article" written by some high school girl that will make you want to go out and punch a teenager in the face. Don't do it, authorities tend to frown on that, but it's a very natural reaction to this. The following is not edited in any way whatsoever, it is word for word. All typos are intentional and in the original. I was just going to attach the image but it looks like shit in this blog column. Now, without further ado, here are the thoughts of a brilliant young mind that responds with statements like "lip gloss rhymes with doggy" when her ashamed parents ask her how school was.

Marriage is something that every girl looks forward to during her childhood. I believe that every girl should marry every guy that is rich so they never have to work. Girls can just go and get their nails done and take the kids shopping. I dont think that college is neccessary becasue you go to school twelve years out of your life and after that you should be done. Men, I can understand if they want to go to school longer to get a better education to work on stuff they like to do. Every man should have money so he can support his family. Even if he doesn't want to get married I think all boys should go to college. I don't think girls should have to go to college. They are too busy with their life and family. But I can undertand if girls want to go to beauty school, cause every girl should have options but personally I don't think college is neccessary because girls need to be girls and get their nails done and go shopping. Have a great time. I'm not saying boys should have the life of work and disstress becaue they are humans but they need to work if they want to have a good life becasue obviously their wives won't be bringing home the money. I guarantee that no girl will marry a poor guy cause every girl wants the life of a princess. When your husband gets home from work you can go out to eat with all the money he makes and also pay all the bills. Girls should all have back up plans but nothing that is full time and nothing that needs college to succeed. Maybe like a day care out of your home. So girls, have fun. Boys, start working!

Good to see that a public school, y'know, the things intended to educate and better our youth, ARE LETTING THIS BE PUBLISHED IN THEIR PAPER VIA A JOURNALISM CLASS. Credit to Encyclopedia Dramatica for being where I discovered this fucking idiot. Credit to her mother for almost making it the full 9 months without drinking heavily. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go outside to my car parked in the driveway, climb inside, close the door, and scream at the top of my lungs until I crap one of them out