Hidely hay, get-a-lifers! Sorry I haven't been posting as frequently, I'm sure all 15 of you are really disappointed. I've had a lot going on with the new housing conditions. Y'see, there's some needless insulation that needs to be removed and my father is being a real baby about getting in there and tearing it out. Something about me being ungrateful and putting dirt in his instant coffee container, I dunno. Lets talk about cocks.

Frankly, I've been hearing way too much about the damn things lately. First a few days ago I learned what "bug collectors" are, which, to put it in summary form, bug collectors are gay men that deliberately get HIV. They hold parties and invite HIV+ men, specifically tell them they want to "get the gift", and let them plow them. That isn't a bad joke lacking a clear punchline. I'm completely fucking serious. Talking about that would be a much more interesting and horrifying post, but I really don't want to.

So, let's go to "Lady" GaGa. Here's a fun fact, she has a penis. Srsly. A few people have called bullshit on this, and they may very well be right, but here's the facts. Her dong was visible at a recent event, and she admitted to having one.

"It’s not something that I’m ashamed of, just isn’t something that I go around telling everyone. Yes. I have both male and female genitalia, but I consider myself a female. It’s just a little bit of a penis and really doesn’t interfere much with my life. The reason I haven’t talked about it is that it’s not a big deal to me. Like come on. It’s not like we all go around talking about our vags. I think this is a great opportunity to make other multiple gendered people feel more comfortable with their bodies. I’m sexy, I’m hot. I have both a poon and a peener. Big f*cking deal." - Lady Gage, ClevelandLeader.com

Yeah, I know. When I see a surprising story on a website I've never heard of, I immediately think "credible source". They do have a picture and a video of the dong in question though, both of which you can check out here if you're fucking retarded.

Here's the interesting question though. Lady Gaga has done stunts like having her hair done to resemble a giant button, a style that clearly negatively affected her ability to eat, see in front of her, and so on. She once to a tv interview wore a suit made out of kermit the frog plush dolls. Lady GaGa is the most deplorable kind of person in the media, the kind that does "crazy" things just to get attention. OMG GAIZ LOOK AT ME I IS WEARING A SOOT MADE OF FROG TOYZ LOLOLOLOL OMGOMG THATS SO WILD I'M SUCH A CHARISMATIC CHARACTER... fuck you, bitch. You want to know something about people who are LOLRANDOM just to be LOLRANDOM? Let me tell you, this gets its own paragraph for emphasis.

People who do socially awkward things on purpose all the time, people who make profiles on dating websites and put "I'm really crazy and weird in a fun way", etc are personality wise the most boring human beings on the fucking planet.

So, it's entirely possible the cock is a fake one, meant to be exposed just to get people talking about her. Lady GaGa is ABSOLUTELY that big of an attention whore. It's like Tom Green back when people cared he existed, only significantly worse and somehow even more blatant. Lets get to that question.

Which would be worse, her having a cock, or her being so much of a shameless, lame ass self promoter that she used a fake one as a prop to gain publicity?

Do you have the answer? I don't. I guess what I'm trying to say is I fucking hate Lady GaGa.