So, interesting fact, I recently found out my father reads this blog. Small world, huh? That's both awesome and terrifying, kind of like a tiny white girl with a large, round ass. I guess I'll have to get rid of the introductory stories about my objectionable antics now . From now on I'll have to stick to my more wholesome hobbies, like making fun of Autistic children and randomly taking dumps in peoples mail slots.

Sports... sports... well, Mark Buerhle threw a perfect game today, but that's not funny, so fuck him. Lets talk about the NFL's decision to make the draft even more torturous.

Commissioner Roger Goodell notified teams Thursday that the draft will be spread over three days in 2010, running Thursday, April 22, through Saturday, April 24. - ESPN.com

Oh goody. Now I can wonder what the fuck is wrong with my life for three days as opposed to two. Thanks Roger. The way the draft is set up now, shit takes so long to happen that by the time the Patriots end up picking, I usually have forgotten what I was doing and miss the pick, too busy looking at the ceiling and making sure it's where I left it.

Look, I'm aware 39 million viewers watched the draft last year (because I just read it). I know it's a big thing, and despite being about as enjoyable as hopping into a bath tub full of syringes and battery acid, the results of it are extremely important. But three days?

WHY? WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?

As it is written, the first round will be a stand alone event on April 22nd. Good idea, I guess, unless you follow a team like mine that ends up trading their pick after it takes nineteen hours to get to their slot.

Rounds two and three will be at night on the 23rd, which means if everybody I know suddenly dies, I have a backup plan for my birthday that requires nothing more than a TV, malt liqour, and a very large knife.

Rounds four through seven start at 10am on the 24th, because everybody wants to start their day watching two hours of players they've never fucking heard of get drafted.

I don't get it. I understand trying to promote your product further, but I'm not seeing how a daytime show for the bottom three rounds is a real crowd draw. If another network is running Kangaroo Jack or The Best Of Pauly Shore, you're going to lose your audience.

Maybe this is why Goodell is where he is, and I'm on a laptop telling him he's stupid. Or, maybe this is just as retarded an idea as it sounds, because anything I write is automatically true. Dane Cook fucks farm animals.

Labels: nfl draft roger goodell why GodJesus why