Sports, Lulz, and Irrelevant Crap
Headlines looked at in a way you can't.... and shouldn't.
Monday, July 20, 2009
HAY GAIZ I CAN HAS SPOTLIGHT PLS K THX

On a serious note, my grandmother passed away over the weekend, so this week is going to suck and I'm pretty bummed out right now. But, the show must go on, and even in my saddest moments, I can still find time to take shots at Brett Favre. Time to blow off some steam.

Three things in life make me want to puke. Turkey burgers, Soulja Boy's bank account, and anything involving Brett Favre without the phrases "overrated", "douche bag", and "irritating sack of fuck" being used. GUESS WHAT GUYS, BRETT IS PROBABLY GOING TO PLAY AGAIN THIS SEASON!!!!!11111oneone! If you thought even for a second he was going to go away, you deserve the dismay you felt when it became clear he was going to come back. Again.
Favre told The Associated Press last week that he is still testing his surgically repaired throwing arm, but expects to give the Vikings an answer on playing for them by July 30. - ESPN.com
How considerate. I mean, it's not like he held the Packers hostage for years while a better quarterback sat on the bench behind him. It's not like he screwed them over, then proceeded to screw the Jets over. Brett is a straight shooter. When he says he's retiring, he means it. For about five fucking minutes.

Here we go again. Time for ESPN, which has been a pathetic excuse for a network for years, to bust out the Favre tab on the sports ticker again. Time to fill SportCenter with Brett Favre stat sheets showing all the stats he's ranked #1 all time in, and time to convieniently forget to put "Interceptions" on that list like you always do. Lets celebrate how he made a career off throwing the ball as far as he could and hoping somebody caught it, but lets ignore the fact that a third of the time the person who caught it was on another team.

The only good thing about Brett "I can't pronounce my last name right" Favre coming back is it gives me a chance to see him get hurt. Is he better than the current options for quarterback the Vikings have? Sure. Jackson sucks, and Sage Rosenfels became Sage Epicfail in my book against the Colts last year. Of course he's better, in the same sense that a shitty old car that starts is better than a new car flipped over and in flames on the side of the highway. He's better by default.

Get ready for another stomach turning season of Favre ass kissing, football fans. Once again, the most overrated athlete in the history of sports will return. Deadline my ass, this deal has been done for a while.

By the way, if you think THIS TIME is it, nope. Brett will come back again next year. You know why? Brett didn't care about the Packers. He didn't care about the Jets. He won't care about the Vikings either. Brett Favre will be back again because Brett Favre can't stand living in a world that isn't talking about Brett Favre.

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1 Comments:
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Sorry about both your grandma and Favre. He is an irritating prick.

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