We're gonna do this a little differently, this is more of a PSA than it is news. I'm warning you about something horrible, called brokeNCYDE. Speaking as a man who burst out laughing watching 2girls1cup, I can safely say nothing on the internet has traumatized me more than this "band". Before I even continue, if you're one of the lucky individuals that is wondering "what's brokeNCYDE", allow me to ruin your day.

Listen to as much of the audio on the "video" below as you can before having an overwhelming urge to kill yourself. For me, it was about 55 seconds. In order to understand what I'm going to write from here on out, sorry, you have to understand just how horrible this shit is. And yes, it's going to be just as painful as the video thumbnail indicates.



Ya still with me? Sorry about that. Hard to believe as this may be, that's actually better than the other two "songs" of theirs I got a third of the way through before seriously contemplating a round of "drink the bottles I find under the bathroom sink".

BrokeNCYDE was the brainchild of vocalists Se7en(David) and Mikl(Mike). According to them, the etymology of the band name comes from the idea of their music being fundamentally broken or "broken inside" due to their relationship problems. - Wikipedia

I know, Wikipedia isn't a credible source, but this isn't a credible band, so fuck it. Just looking at them in their "Freaxxx" music video made me want to grab the little fuckers through the screen and crush them in my angry, angry hands. The absurdly over the top scenester outfits, the big smiles like they're cool while randomly screaming, the techno, the shitty lyrics, everything about them makes me want to puke baked beans and Hershey's syrup all over the place.

Even worse, though their YouTube videos with millions of views are at least 50% negative comments, there are actually "people" who like this shit. Their MySpace has hundreds of thousands of fans. THEY DO LIVE SHOWS.

This trash, this fucking audible cancer, this worthless shit that I, somebody with virtually no musical ability could produce something far superior to, has people paying to hear it. That's comparable to somebody beating your fucking brains in, taking your wallet, and as they're walking away you shouting "hey, hold on, I got a $20 in my other pocket!"

Bashing things usually makes me feel better about myself, especially when the bashing is as justified as it is in this case. When it comes to brokeNCYDE, however, the only thing I come out of this feeling good about is someday I'm going to be old and decrepit enough that I'm going to forget I saw this.

Part of me wanted to believe that this was satire. Part of me wanted to believe it was simply a joke that I didn't get. I did my research, folks, and unfortunately, this is very real. The fact that brokeNCYDE exists at all is proof there is no God, the fact that they have achieved some level of success is exactly why this country is in a fucking recession.

I don't even know how to end this. If you like this shit, you're beyond help, so I'd be wasting my time. I have never wanted to beat the fuck out of somebody in a YouTube video more than watching brokeNCYDE, and yes, I've seen Fred.