No two things are a more magical combination than NFL offensive linemen and musical performances. The two intertwine on a level that rivals peanut butter and chocolate, particularly if you're violently allergic to peanut butter and the "chocolate" is a homemade product courtesy of your local fecalphiliac. Honestly, I'm used to members of the Dallas Cowboys doing stupid shit, but usually their hearts are in the right place. When Nate Newton got arrested with that U-Haul of marijuana, he was just trying to bring joy to junior high students across the country.

Leonard Davis, Marc Colombo and Cory Procter have signed a recording contract as part of a heavy metal band called Free Reign. Their debut album for Australia's Riot Entertainment will be released this fall. - ESPN.com

The article continues by making an incredibly lame joke involving the weight of the three men involved and the fact that their music is going to be in a genre that has "heavy" in it. A better follow-up line would have read something like "what kind of a shitty name for a metal band is Free Reign?" Heavy metal bands are supposed to have names like Trampled Faces, Prejudice Towards Humanity, or Suck My Dick Because I Hate You. Not Free Reign. That sounds like the name of a band two reasonably unattractive lesbians would fuck each other to when they left their Indigo Girls collection in the car.

I'm sure they're metal as all hell, though. I mean, their epic tour is ending at a House Of Blues in Dallas. Nothing says hardcore like a bunch of black men in suits wielding saxophones.